All that aside, happy May! Technically, it's April 30th at 11:40 pm as I'm typing this, but I figure by the time I'm done writing and editing, it will be approximately....May.
I figured that since this is supposed to be a blog about trying to conceive, I should actually share some of the realities of what that entails. Surprisingly, I find it hard to write about. I don't know if it's embarrassment or just the fact that I plain don't like talking about it. Trying to conceive is, among other things, gross in a lot of ways.
Take the last week, for example. Here's a rough breakdown:
Monday 4/23/12: Cycle Day 1. First R.E. (Reproductive Endocrinologist aka Infertility Specialist) appointment. Had a transvaginal ultrasound done (yes, that's exactly what it sounds like). Dr. saw some "funky spots" while looking at my uterine lining. Also had blood drawn from my right arm for a progesterone test. Nurse called with progesterone test results and said my levels were fine ("a little low, but nothing to be concerned about") and that I should start my period later that day. I did...about an hour later, as a matter of fact. And this is just one of the reasons that I don't like talking about trying to conceive. The doctor's opinion is that I should start ttc ASAP, due to my history with endometriosis. This is in direct contrast to the high risk doctor's opinion on waiting until November and telling me to gain 10-15 lbs. :/
Tuesday 4/24/12: Cycle Day 2. Went to the lab for another blood draw. This time, they were testing my TSH (Thyroid-Stimulating Hormone), FSH (Follicle-Stimulating Hormone) and Prolactin levels. It was a simple, painless blood draw. This was the aftermath:
ZOMBIE ARM!!!!!
Never had that happen before. The consensus among my non-medical professional friends and family is that the phlebotomist went clear through my vein. This is about a week after the blood draw, for what it's worth. If my arm falls off, I am suing. I love you, left arm.
Fast forward to today.
Monday 4/30/12: Cycle Day 8. Went for 2nd RE appointment and had a surprise Hysterosonogram performed. This is not the kind of thing you want sprung on you at the last minute.
A little on Hysterosonograms. The "procedure" begins with the patient, usually a cowardly female, undressing from the waist down and sitting on a tall table with a sheer, crinkly material as the only barrier between her lady parts and the world at large. It is impossible to cover both her front and backside without tearing the material to pieces, and she eventually gives up trying. As a rule, it's no warmer than 45 degrees in the exam room. Usually, she'll wait in this half-naked, frozen state for at least 20 minutes, presumably for no other reason than to allow her anxieties to surface. Occasionally, a well-meaning nurse will pop her head in to explain what will happen "soon." When she asks if the procedure will hurt, the response is always, "No. Just a little discomfort."
Finally, someone knocks on the door and asks if it's okay to come in, which I found kind of funny considering the time lapse between undressing and someone actually coming in to do the procedure. The patient then gets told the doctor will not be performing the procedure, after all. The radiologist will. Great. Nothing against radiologists, but this does get somewhat awkward later on.
So, the patient is told to lie back and put the feet in the ol' stirrups, which are cold, hard and metal. At this point, the patient always realizes the thin, crunchy sheet is for her benefit, not the doctor's. I would not want to see what was going on down there.
Then the procedure begins. It feels like a pap smear on steroids. Or two pap smears that got mixed up and jumbled into one confusing....something. And adding a transvaginal ultrasound to the whole thing.
And then the saline solution is injected into the patient's uterus. Did I mention this part? Precisely two minutes after being comfortingly being told, "This is the worst you'll feel," (I'm assuming that was when the catheter was inserted into the cervix) the nurse gives the patient what amounts to the equivalent of a reverse period.
No, nurse. THIS is the worst I'll feel.
The patient's uterus then cramps up in a futile effort to eject the foreign substance, to no avail. It feels more than uncomfortable. It feels like the sum of the patient's worst period cramps condensed into about a minute or two. The the vaginal ultrasound probe is inserted and the radiologist fumbles to both perform the ultrasound and take pictures of the findings, all while hearing the patient complain that this kind of sucks. Thankfully, it doesn't last long.
And that about sums up the hysterosonogram. I'm pretty sure they also took a sample of either the uterine lining or the cervix, but they didn't mention what they were up to. And after all the stuff that was just jammed in there, it didn't really hurt if they did take a sample.
I also got told that all my other levels were great....so that's awesome. My TSH was 1.75, prolactin was 11 and FSH was 9.1. I was concerned about the FSH due to a dumb at-home test I took last month, which was the whole basis for the original RE appointment.
On the other hand, during the HSG a polyp was found in my uterus. So, at least in my lovely experience, trying to conceive also involves talking about polyps.
Gross.
