Funny Pregnancy Quotes

So, in between working and sleeping I tend to get bored. I found some funny pregnancy and baby quotes online and thought I'd share. Enjoy!

If men were equally at risk from this condition - if they knew their bellies might swell as if they were suffering from end-stage cirrhosis, that they would have to go nearly a year without a stiff drink, a cigarette, or even an aspirin, that they would be subject to fainting spells and unable to fight their way onto commuter trains - then I am sure that pregnancy would be classified as a sexually transmitted disease and abortions would be no more controversial than emergency appendectomies. ~Barbara Ehrenreich

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. ~Erma Bombeck

Love is all fun and games until someone loses an eye or gets pregnant. ~Jim Cole

Love and pregnancy and riding on a camel cannot be hid. ~Arabic Proverb

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. ~Sam Levenson

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. ~Rita Rudner

If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family. ~Lawrence Housman

It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money. ~Elinor Goulding Smith

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing. ~Kin Hubbard