Sometimes It's Hard

Every now and then, I'll open up the box of Holly's things just to go through and remember her.  I always enjoy the scent of the little gown and blanket that she wore after she was born.

Today, as I rummaged through the very few and dear memories of my little angel, something happened that I knew was going to happen eventually.

Her gown and blanket no longer smell like her.

It sounds so insignificant when I type it out and read it back to myself, but it was one of the saddest moments of the last few months.  That little gown and blanket would take me back in time to the moment I first held her.  When I hold them, it's like I get to enjoy her all over again.  But now it's just a gown.  Just a blanket.  Just something that once touched her little body but no longer holds a part of her within them.

I'm just sad today.